Pickup and Toy Hauler Take the "Leap of Faith"

Here's one of those things you always hear about, but very few have actually seen happen.

It was at precisely 2:05 pm today when I saw it. As it unfolded in front of me, I said to myself, no - it couldn't be.

It was a newer tan GMC Yukon. It was tooling down the 405 freeway SB near the Santa Monica Blvd in the number 2 lane, or the lane directly to the right of the fast lane. It was towing a pretty big enclosed motorcycle trailer, or what most people know as a "toy hauler". The truck/trailer combo was traveling pretty much with the flow of traffic. The guy driving the combo wasn't driving fast, weaving in/out of traffic or otherwise being a nuisance. No, this guy's problem was instigated by a slight oversight on his part, even before he pulled out of his driveway that morning.

The 405 freeway is known for it's choppy characteristic when driving on the 50 year old concrete square panels laid end to end to create most of the massive black ribbon that is the 405. The panel cause a constant modulation effect that travels from the road itself, up through a vehicle's tires, suspension and chassis until it reaches the driver's bones, which get rattled to high Heaven. This constant pulsing effect can cause another effect as well.. a much more destructive effect.

As I passed the truck/trailer, I noticed the front of the trailer was bumping up and down much more than the rear of the truck it was supposed to be attached to. Just as I glanced over, I saw the tongue of the trailer pop off it's hitch. It bobbed up and down 2-3 times before it finally hit the road and threw off a shower of sparks. The safety chain was doing it's job, but it didn't keep the trailer to yaw back and forth as the truck driver tried to quickly pull over to the side of the road. As I passed him and continued on, I saw him signalling and merging to the right as fast as possible.

Lesson to the world; It doesn't take a Highway A-hole to forget to tighten down your trailer ball hitch before leaving on a Memorial Day Weekend vacation at Glamis.

JANUARY 3, 2008 @ 11:31AM - NB 405 at Mulholland Drive

Happy New Year, let's hope 2008 is a year with fewer Highway A-holes affecting our lives.

I know, it's been a while. But today's sighting was an obvious one - and one I had not seen in a few months.

Asian lady in another beige Honda Accord. Interstate 405 NB just before Mulholland Drive. She was driving in the fast lane at a blistering 40 MPH. A reasonable speed if the road is packed with traffic. But when everyone else is cooking along at a 65 MPH clip. the Honda is a hazzard, and the Asian woman driver a Highway A-hole.

OCTOBER 1, 2007 @ 12:25PM - SB 405 at Normandy

Flashing red lights on emergency vehicles like CHP cruisers, police cars, enforcement motorcycles, fire trucks and ambulances deserve the lawful respect and right-of-way the law demands. Could someone please explain to me then why is it that I continue to see people driving down the road totally ignoring the flashing red lights on emergency vehicles.

If an emergency vehicle is coming up on your rear and you don't pull over to the shoulder to let them pass, then you are in violation of the law. If you are on an un-divided road and the emergency vehicle is approaching you from the other direction and you don't pull over to the shoulder to let them pass, then you are again in violation of the law. It's really as simple as that.

Let's take a short quiz;

You are driving down the freeway and you see a CHP motorcycle officer gaining on your rear with his red lights flashing. Do you...

A: Slow down and maintain position in the flow of traffic.

B: Slowly pull to the right side of the road, stop, and allow the cruiser to pass.

C: Immediately stop in the lane you are traveling on and wait for the cruiser to pass.

I'll give you an obvious, common sense based hint; it's not A or C.

That's right, according to the State of California Vehicle Code, the answer is B, as in pull to the side, stop and let the emergency vehicle pass. Please never do what today's Highway A-hole did.

A CHP cruiser trying to get through traffic to attend a traffic accident ahead code 3. Traffic was bumper to bumper. People were trying to get to the side of the road so that the cruiser could pass on through... well most people anyway.

A lone black 2000-ish 4 door Mercedes with the license number 6151344 was just sitting still in the previously moving traffic dead in its tracks. The driver was a woman who looked to be somewhere in her early 30's with short black hair. She had come to a complete stop in the middle of lanes and turned on her emergency flashers. The CHP car was right behind her with red lights flashing and siren blowing. All she had to do was follow the merging traffic the right. Problem was she didn't want to move, she just sat there. The patrolman in the cruiser gave her instructions over his PA horn. "DRIVER PULL OVER TO THE RIGHT" blared out of his PA speaker. Nothing doing, she just continued to sit there.

Afger a few second. a break of cars to her right gave her a complete opportunity to get out of the way. Like a deer caught in headlights she just continued to sit there. The CHP cruiser was obviously fed up waiting for her to make the move, so he just passed her on her right side.

Lady, I hope that someday it's your kid up ahead in a traffic accident and some other Highway A-hole refuses to pull over for the rescue vehicle or ambulance trying to same you kid's life. Karma can be a bitch and everything.

SEPTEMBER 18, 2007 @ 2:55PM - SB 405 at Studebaker Road Off-Ramp

Here's a shout out to those hard working people at JjK Roll Offs. These guys provide those huge roll off garbage containers you see at major construction sites.

In order to get these huge steel multi-ton receipticals to and from the sites and the garbage dumps, rather large diesel tractor trucks are required to muscle them from here to there.

Oh sure, they take up extra space on the freeways, drive slower than the rest of traffic, and usually have a vile stench about them. But it's the subtle things that make these trucking giants the 'welcome' traffic additions they are.

JjK Roll Offs, if you would be so kind as to check the California Vehicle Code and it's passage concerning commercial trucks and their loads. TO give you the thunbnail sketch of the code; YOU HAVE TO COVER YOUR TRUCK BINS WITH A TARP TO KEEP THE CRAP IN THE BIN YOU ARE HAULING FROM BLOWING OUT AND INTO TRAFFIC!

Today one of your trucks was cruising SB down the 405 Freeway just before the Studebaker off-ramp. Large cardboard boxes (more than a couple, more like dozens) were flying out of the top of the bin being transported, and into traffic and the path of the drivers following your truck. This un-expected rain parade of cardboard was causing all the cars behind it to take drastic action to avoid hitting the boxes. One driver in a Nissan Pathfinder looked to have gotten the attention of your truck driver to alert him as to his problem, but there seemed to be a communication error; your driver just smiled and continued on.

So, JjK Roll Offs doing business in Torrance CA, I hope that one day a CHP officer actually witnesses one of your trucks dumping trash into traffic, causing a major accident which after a legal trial, you business is found liable and is closed down forever.

It doesn't pay to be a Highway A-hole Jjk Roll Offs.

AUGUST 31, 2007 @ 2:42 pm – SB 405 Fwy at Cherry Ave Exit Ramp in Long Beach.

Damn it's been hot here in the LA area. For the most part, the Highway A-holes have been keeping to themselves. I'd like to think that all LA drivers read this blog and think more than twice when they are about to make stupid decisions.

But this heat wave is finally starting to take a toll on drivers. Today on the SB 405 at the Cherry Ave off-ramp collector, there were not one but two A-holes.

One car, a 2006 Chevy HHR mini SUV, was driving very slowly - like 5 MPH or less, in the right lane as the Cherry Ave collector started. I wasn't getting off the freeway, so I was in the second lane from the right driving a respectable 55 MPH in the early Holiday get-outta-town traffic, but just as I approached the collector lane where the HHR was, traffic slowed down abruptly to about 10 MPH.

As I was passing the even slower HHR, I heard a loud truck horn blast next to me. There was a massive off-yellow and orange-brown cement truck with western motif graphics painted on its mixer drum and cab doors right up to the bumper of the HHR. When the driver of the HHR heard the horn, the woman driving stopped her HHR cold in the middle of the collector with no trafic ahead of her. As I continued past I caught a glimpse of her staring in her rear view mirror back at the cement mixer truck while she was at a total stand still.

As I continued on, she continued to remain steadfast in her position. I don't believe she had any mechanical problems (even though she was driving a Chevy, but I digress) but I think she was just pissed someone had the nerve to honk at her, or she was trying to back off the collector to get back on the freeway... an even more bonehead to try as a Highway A-hole.

Then HHR's potential mechanical issues I really can't speak to, but if her problem was that she took the wrong off-ramp, her problem would have been solved if she would have just continued on the collector and followed the signs to re-join the freeway 100 yards ahead.

That's what the signs that read "Thru Traffic OK" mean you Highway A-hole.

And dude driving the cement mixer, get a grip already... according to your dispatcher's desk (yes, I called), you get paid by the hour. You should thank Ms. HHR for putting another $3 in your pocket.

AUGUST 22, 2007 @ 11:12 am – SB 405 Fwy at 105 Fwy Interchange

Well thanks to Wil Smith and Universal Pictures, I was late to work today. Just when things were starting to improve around here, this had to happen.

Universal Studios is shooting a freeway action scene on the 105 freeway just west of the 405, adjacent to the SW corner of LAX. As I understand it, the shoot requires that the 105 traffic WB from the 405, and all associated on/off-ramps be closed from 6:00 am until 10:00 pm "for a number of days". Can someone tell me what that "number" is please?

Wait a minute! It's the middle of the week people. Why shut down one of SoCals most commute crippling and busiest freeway intersections? Commuters are beyond inconvienced by these closures. What show stopping scene had to be shot mid-week that couldn't be shot on weekend days?

Are you guys taking scheduling lessons from CalTrans now? I most certainly hope not. The freeways can't possible handle another asinine studio public relations stunt. The spin control for a Highway A-hole is almost always futile.

And boy are his ears pointy.

AUGUST 11, 2007 @ 12:45 am – NB 405 Fwy at 101 Fwy Interchange

God damnit CalTrans!

You have a really cool and hourly updated website. For almost a decade it has been the trusted online source for scheduled freeway closures. These closures are usually for road work, lane re-striping, k-rail installation or removal, road survey work, etc. Anything to do with the scheduled maintenance of the statewide California Freeway System. Knowing where these closures are allows the California driver to plan alternate routes if necessary so they are as inconvienced as little as possible due to the closure.

So here's why you guys at CalTrans are Highway A-holes.

Your website located at http://www.dot.ca.gov/dist07/laneclosures/d7PClos.htm states that this morning at 1 am, the entire on and off-ramps for the 405 NB to 101 EB and SB ramps will be closed for k-rail removal and lane striping. No problem. For most of us that means getting to through the intersection closure before their public announced scheduled times.

But, someone on the scene in one of those fucking orange trucks for CalTrans decided to start the closures early, like more than 15 minutes early. At 12:45 am, all lanes for the 405 NB to the 101 interchange were closed way before their scheduled 1 am start time. Boy did this put a crink in the driving plans of every fucking motorist traveling NB through the area trying to get through BEFORE the closure started.

When you are a good driver and check the closures before you travel through an area that has an expected closure, yuo would expect CalTrans to honor their schedules and not create even more emotional commuter shit amongst the citizens of the highways.

AUGUST 10, 2007 @ 7:55 pm – NB 405 Fwy at Century Blvd

Just freaking great, stuck in Friday evening rush hour near LAX. It's my fault I suppose since I wasn't able to get away from work before 4 pm like I usually do on Fridays.

This time our Highway A-hole of note was a serial tailgater. Nice new Dodge Charger R/T, red with black ralley stripes. The driver was non-descript due to the heavily tinted side and rear windows.

We were just inching along N from Orange County to the 110 Interchange. There the traffic lightened up to a point we could all move pretty much the speed limit. The Charger A-hole was really riding up close on the bumper of a silver Cooper Mini. The driver of the Mini was a yuppie looking programmer type, probably a TRW, Boeing or Northrup-Grumann employee (I've seen my fill of these people). He seemed to be staring straight ahead and driving very intently. He probably already noted the tailgating Charger behind him.

Now this Charger was really right up on the Mini. Not just I-need-to-get-by-you close, but more of if-you-hit-your-brakes-our-cars-will-be-having-sex close. The Charger was right on the Mini's butt until we got to Century Blvd. There traffic started to slow to a crawl once again. The Mini has already merged to the number 3 lane - it looks as if the Charger had done the same. The number 2 lane was clear and free for he Dodger to pass the Mini. Nothing doing, the Charger remained on the Mini's ass as I went ahead and passed both.

Really, this was nothing a little tap on the brake lights could have solved for the Mini.

AUGUST 1, 2007 @ 2:49 pm – NB 710 FWY to NB 405 Interchange

Some people just can seem to figure things out on the fly. When they can't, everyone else around them is fucking fried.

OK now try to follow along. It's going to get complicated for a bit.

There is a rather tricky intersection going from the 710 NB to the 405 NB in Long Beach. If involves merging into a double exit collector and then utilizing one of those circular off-ramp lanes to yet another set of merge lanes combining the NB 710 to NB 405 traffic with the 710 SB merging... all trying to get into NB 405 traffic. It sounds confusing I know, but if you have ever been in this interchange and done the described path, I'm sure you can relate to this A-hole story.

It's a 50 yd stretch of merging lanes that require cars and tractor trailers have to use for the double merge. To get from the collecting NB and SB 710 FWY, and the NB 405 merging traffic into the 710 ramps, you must negotiate this area in quick fashion. If you do this merge right no one is delayed and no one gets pissed. However, if you lolly-gag or try to force your way through and don't pay attention to the rest of the traffic trying to merge at the same time, you not only fuck yourself, but you fuck everyone else as well. This usually results in all traffic having to stop while the A-hole who caused the whole mess is allowed to safely and slowly merge, by himself, across the two lanes into the NB 405 entry lane as it approaches the Santa Fe Ave overpass. Most drivers are patient with this kind of bullshit. However, the tractor-trailer rigs are not so compassionate... to them time is money and waiting for an A-hole is something they refuse to do.

There she was - an Asian woman in her late 50's. Short cropped black hair wearing some kind of office dress-blouse. She looked like she could have been Korean but I'm not positive. She was puttering in a 1990 4 door silver Toyota Camry, last five license plate numbers DT110. I was 4 cars behind her. As she entered the merging lanes described above, she decided that traffic was moving way to fast for her to merge so decided to stop cold in the middle of the merging traffic. EVERYONE behind her came to a stop as well.

OK, no problem. She will be back on her way in a few seconds as traffic thins a bit. Nothing doing, she just sat there. Two minutes go by and she is still waiting for her chance to go. Traffic is now starting to back-up on the NB and SB 710 off-ramps. Big truck horns are now starting to toot.

Finally se starts to creep into the merge lanes towards the NB 405 on-ramp. As she slithers into the lanes, the other lane she was in opens up like a flood gate to let the rest of us pass her - of course on the right.

2 miles after I was able to get onto the NB 405, I suddenly see the silver Camry speeding up on me in my rear view mirror. She changes lanes and passes me on the left. She had to be going 70 mph plus. Wow, I guess she does have balls after all... that little A-hole bitch.

JULY 26, 2007 @ 2:10 pm - SB 405 at Hwy 110

Soccer moms in mini vans suck... and not in the good way.

A nice warm day, good visibility too, you could easily make out the Palos Verde Peninsula off to the west. Traffic was breezing along pretty well as busy as the freeway was. And then it happened - the soccer mom from hell decided she was going to drive in the #1 fast lane. That in itself shouldn't be a problem, but she decided to drive 50 mph, not 67 as most of us were doing.

Two cars ahead of me I see the silver Toyota Sienna mini van, license tag 5CGU664, with a black grill bra strapped to its front end flapping in the wind. The van had stick figure stickers of a family of 5 next to a soccer ball in the rear back window. The white Toyota Tundra between us was right up on her bumper. I played it smart and kept a decent distance behind the truck. It seemed that as the Tundra got closer to the soccer mom's Sienna, the soccer mom would let off the gas, further reducing her already slow speed. The guy driving the Tundra was getting pissed and eventually passed her on the right flipping her off as he slowly passed her. I'm not sure if she saw his gesture of love.

I slowly crept ahead and behind the soccer mom, but not to close. I sensed that she may not know there are people trying to pass her. I nudged over off center left so that my day running lights would hit her mirrors. She never glanced back. She was down to 50 mph again while traffic in the #2 lane to her right was doing at least 60+.

By Carson blvd I decided that I was done trying to get her to move over. I passed her on the left after I merged into the #2 lane. As I sped up to meet the traffic flow at 65 mph, it seemed as if she was driving much slower now that the 50 mph before. As I passed her, I saw the reason why she was oblivious to the traffic around her. She had her head down towards her steering wheel and she was thumb-banging a Blackberry. Blackberry use while driving a car should be illegal.

JULY 20, 2007 @ 2:05 pm - SB 405 at Getty Center Drive

It's become hot here in the LA area, and that seems to bring out a lack of patience in drivers. Today's report is more of the same HOV car pool bullshit.

A black 2006 Porsche 911 4S Turbo was being driven by a young Italian looking guy with the obligatory fat gold chain and medallion. He look to be in his mid to late 20's and he was by himself. I didn't get his tag number.

Again, here we have a situation of a schmuck darting in and out of the car pool lane across double yellow lines. He was himself looking rather pissed that traffic was a bad as it was. He was right, traffic was bad with the quickest lane only moving about 15 mph, and it was the slow lane number 5. The rest of us understood the situation and made the best of it. For some reason he would not accept that the traffic was going to slow him up for a bit. I lost sight of him somewhere just past Sunset Blvd. Traffic on the SB 405 remained bad until past Long Beach's Cherry Ave off-ramp.

I was hoping that a CHP cruiser or motor officer would have seen him performing is A-hole acts, but I realized that the $451 minimal fine would not have meant shit to this guy with the foreign trust fund. State of CA should increase the license point penalty to drivers who abuse the car pool laws from 1 point per infraction to 3.

JULY 17, 2007 @ 8:22 pm - NB 405 to NB 101 Transition

Well sonofabitch, it's a two-fer Tuesday!!!

Getting back into the San Fernando Valley from the LA Basin between 3:00 pm and 10:00 pm is usually at a minimal pace, or a downright crawl. This evening, the NB traffic was moving about 20 miles per hour all the way from the 405/10 interchange to the 405/101 interchange. As I merged into the exit collector lanes to get onto the 101 N, I glanced over to my left and see this absolutely bitchin black Acura NSX driving next to me. The car is so low to the ground, I couldn't see the driver from the cab of my truck. You used to see these cars a lot on the highways of LA but not so much anymore.

I had already been on the road over 2 hours by this time. As I was easing my truck out from under the overpass of the NB 101 merge, the Acura signalled it wanted to get in my lane - which I gladly permitted since we weren't going anywhere fast anyways.

Along this stretch of merging lanes, Cal Trans has set up a series of standing traffic dividers, kind of like traffic cones but thinner and taller. The orange and reflectorized dividers are spaced about every 4 to 5 feet apart parallel to the lanes to keep the merging traffic of the NB 405 traffic separated from the NB 101 traffic until the road straightens out. It makes for much safer merges.

So here was the Acura who just moved in front of me now driving about 5 mph - much slower than the rest of traffic. Just a bit further along, the Acura came to a complete stop and turned on its right blinker. Strange, since the traffic dividers I described were all along our right side acting as a barrier so no one could dart into the merging traffic until a bit further up the road. The Acura eventually ran up it's RPMs, broke rubber and darted over 3 or 4 of the dividers (they are a break-away type) and crossed into the NB 101 traffic. The now run-over dividers popped back up to their semi-ridged previous state.

I kept an eye on the Acura as I drove ahead in the merge lane watching it as, in a very short distance, the car crossed 5 lanes of traffic making on-coming traffic come to a stop. Once the NSX got to the far right side of the 101 Fwy is became clear it was trying to get to the NB 101 at Haskell off-ramp. I think that keeping traffic from darting across the 101 to that off-ramp was another reason why the barrier was in place as well.

Only in maniacal LA will some Highway A-hole take a $100,000 car and do such a jack-ass thing.

JULY 12, 2007 @ 1:34 pm - SB 405 Fwy and 710 Fwy

Here's a Highway A-hole we will see a lot of in the future. It's that moron who feels so superior to be commuting with the rest of us, he's thinks he's obliged to ignore the law.

In this case, it's a late 1980's Dodge Sonoma truck, dark green in color with the complete CA license plate number of 5T20280. Driving beyond 75 MPH and in the fast lane, he enters the HOV car pool lane as a single driver. On this freeway, a car in the HOV lane must have two or more people in it, or else it's a hefty fine. He must have had a turd in his pocket because he was most definitely the only one in the truck I could see.

He continues to drive fast and tailgate upon others that happen to be driving at a slightly slower pace in the same lane. Rather than just accept the fact he will have to drive 3-5 MPH slower, he rides up on the drivers ahead of him and flashes his high beam headlamps in an attempt to get the slightly slower traffic out of the carpool lane to let him pass. His antics work on some drivers, not so much with others.

What a douche-bag. I wish there were more CHP cruisers on this freeway this time of day. A year of so there were, but you rarely see them now outside of being parked at the Carson Truck Weigh Station N of the 405 and Avalon off-ramps.

JULY 11, 2007 @ 12:18pm - SB 405 Fwy betwen 605 Fwy and Seal Beach Blvd Off-ramp

I usually have the highest respect for livery drivers here in Southern California. They have one of the most demanding driving jobs of anyone else out there. That's why I'm suprised to have witnessed a limo driver acting like a Highway A-hole.

This particular limo was a brand new stretch black Lincoln. It was still sporting "Sterling Limosines" paper plates on it. The last few digits of the PTC license stenciled on the L rear bumper were 1144-P, I couldn't remember the rest. Couldn't tell if there was anyone in back through the heavily tinted windows.

The limo was driving rather erratically, speeding up and then slowing down. For the most part it travelled in the number, occasionally passing a slower car on the right number 2 lane. The limo's speed was inconsistent and surged between 75 mph down to 50 mph and then back up again. The limo's speed wasn;t being gauged by the traffic around it, it just kept speeding and slowing dow. This was causing drivers that were behind it to brake and re-accellerate every 1/8th mile or so. This went on for many miles until I was able to pass it on the right.

As I passed, I saw the limo driver. A very attractive blonde with a pixy style hairdoo was driving. She was in her mid to late 20's and wearing a tuxedo shirt, jacket and tie. Rather large dangling diamond-like earrings swung from her lobes. She was holding her cell phone in front of her and YELLING at it, as if she was using it in speaker phone mode. She was cherry red in the face, which contrasted her striking blonde hair. She must have been trying to "convey" some kind of disappointment to the party on the other end of the call. Judging by her apparent furstration, I don't think she was having much luck getting her point across.

Dear limo drivers, don't use your cell phone for arguing with others while driving. It makes you look like a Highway A-hole... and it pisses the rest of us off.