"The one thing that unites most all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers. Man that's fucked up! " - Anonymous, 2007

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

AUGUST 1, 2007 @ 2:49 pm – NB 710 FWY to NB 405 Interchange

Some people just can seem to figure things out on the fly. When they can't, everyone else around them is fucking fried.

OK now try to follow along. It's going to get complicated for a bit.

There is a rather tricky intersection going from the 710 NB to the 405 NB in Long Beach. If involves merging into a double exit collector and then utilizing one of those circular off-ramp lanes to yet another set of merge lanes combining the NB 710 to NB 405 traffic with the 710 SB merging... all trying to get into NB 405 traffic. It sounds confusing I know, but if you have ever been in this interchange and done the described path, I'm sure you can relate to this A-hole story.

It's a 50 yd stretch of merging lanes that require cars and tractor trailers have to use for the double merge. To get from the collecting NB and SB 710 FWY, and the NB 405 merging traffic into the 710 ramps, you must negotiate this area in quick fashion. If you do this merge right no one is delayed and no one gets pissed. However, if you lolly-gag or try to force your way through and don't pay attention to the rest of the traffic trying to merge at the same time, you not only fuck yourself, but you fuck everyone else as well. This usually results in all traffic having to stop while the A-hole who caused the whole mess is allowed to safely and slowly merge, by himself, across the two lanes into the NB 405 entry lane as it approaches the Santa Fe Ave overpass. Most drivers are patient with this kind of bullshit. However, the tractor-trailer rigs are not so compassionate... to them time is money and waiting for an A-hole is something they refuse to do.

There she was - an Asian woman in her late 50's. Short cropped black hair wearing some kind of office dress-blouse. She looked like she could have been Korean but I'm not positive. She was puttering in a 1990 4 door silver Toyota Camry, last five license plate numbers DT110. I was 4 cars behind her. As she entered the merging lanes described above, she decided that traffic was moving way to fast for her to merge so decided to stop cold in the middle of the merging traffic. EVERYONE behind her came to a stop as well.

OK, no problem. She will be back on her way in a few seconds as traffic thins a bit. Nothing doing, she just sat there. Two minutes go by and she is still waiting for her chance to go. Traffic is now starting to back-up on the NB and SB 710 off-ramps. Big truck horns are now starting to toot.

Finally se starts to creep into the merge lanes towards the NB 405 on-ramp. As she slithers into the lanes, the other lane she was in opens up like a flood gate to let the rest of us pass her - of course on the right.

2 miles after I was able to get onto the NB 405, I suddenly see the silver Camry speeding up on me in my rear view mirror. She changes lanes and passes me on the left. She had to be going 70 mph plus. Wow, I guess she does have balls after all... that little A-hole bitch.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's a mess to get through. You forgot to mention all the trucks that have to use this mixmaster to get to and from the port of LA. Those guys driving those trucks don't take shit from anyone.