AUGUST 1, 2007 @ 2:49 pm – NB 710 FWY to NB 405 Interchange

Some people just can seem to figure things out on the fly. When they can't, everyone else around them is fucking fried.

OK now try to follow along. It's going to get complicated for a bit.

There is a rather tricky intersection going from the 710 NB to the 405 NB in Long Beach. If involves merging into a double exit collector and then utilizing one of those circular off-ramp lanes to yet another set of merge lanes combining the NB 710 to NB 405 traffic with the 710 SB merging... all trying to get into NB 405 traffic. It sounds confusing I know, but if you have ever been in this interchange and done the described path, I'm sure you can relate to this A-hole story.

It's a 50 yd stretch of merging lanes that require cars and tractor trailers have to use for the double merge. To get from the collecting NB and SB 710 FWY, and the NB 405 merging traffic into the 710 ramps, you must negotiate this area in quick fashion. If you do this merge right no one is delayed and no one gets pissed. However, if you lolly-gag or try to force your way through and don't pay attention to the rest of the traffic trying to merge at the same time, you not only fuck yourself, but you fuck everyone else as well. This usually results in all traffic having to stop while the A-hole who caused the whole mess is allowed to safely and slowly merge, by himself, across the two lanes into the NB 405 entry lane as it approaches the Santa Fe Ave overpass. Most drivers are patient with this kind of bullshit. However, the tractor-trailer rigs are not so compassionate... to them time is money and waiting for an A-hole is something they refuse to do.

There she was - an Asian woman in her late 50's. Short cropped black hair wearing some kind of office dress-blouse. She looked like she could have been Korean but I'm not positive. She was puttering in a 1990 4 door silver Toyota Camry, last five license plate numbers DT110. I was 4 cars behind her. As she entered the merging lanes described above, she decided that traffic was moving way to fast for her to merge so decided to stop cold in the middle of the merging traffic. EVERYONE behind her came to a stop as well.

OK, no problem. She will be back on her way in a few seconds as traffic thins a bit. Nothing doing, she just sat there. Two minutes go by and she is still waiting for her chance to go. Traffic is now starting to back-up on the NB and SB 710 off-ramps. Big truck horns are now starting to toot.

Finally se starts to creep into the merge lanes towards the NB 405 on-ramp. As she slithers into the lanes, the other lane she was in opens up like a flood gate to let the rest of us pass her - of course on the right.

2 miles after I was able to get onto the NB 405, I suddenly see the silver Camry speeding up on me in my rear view mirror. She changes lanes and passes me on the left. She had to be going 70 mph plus. Wow, I guess she does have balls after all... that little A-hole bitch.

JULY 27, 2007 @ 3:54 pm – WB Ventura Blvd at Topanga Blvd

I have this theory. If an older driver owns a new luxury car, let’s say something like a new Benz, they seem to always refuse to look other drivers in the eye, refusing to acknowledge others are around them. I think they believe they are better than the rest of us. Boy oh boy, are they Highway A-holes.

I was running an errand in Woodland Hills this afternoon. I was driving west on Ventura Blvd in the right turn lane. I was planning to make the turn onto NB Topanga Blvd. At this particular intersection, there is a traffic right turn signal. You have to wait for the arrow to turn green before you can make a right turn. I was the first car in line for the turn waiting for the green arrow light. As the arrow turned greed signaling the OK to make the turn, I slowly started to make the turn into the congested NB traffic. Suddenly I heard two or three horns honks behind me. I glanced to the left to make sure no one was coming (although I did have the light and right-of-way). Sonofabitch, here comes a big-ass black Benz coupe forcing its way into sharing my lane.

I stopped after completing the turn onto Topanga. Inches from my driver door was the Benz. Sitting in the driver’s seat was an elderly silver haired biddy with oversized plastic black framed sunglasses on, as is the fashion now-a-days. She was staring straight ahead. She must have come from Topanga Blvd from the S, through the intersection (and a red light) and ended up next to me trying to clear the intersection for the rest of the traffic that was crossing E to W by that point.

I glanced over hoping to give her the old “mal' occhio”, or evil eye. Nothing doin’, she just kept looking straight ahead. Even when traffic started to move, rather that let me continue on (I mean after all, I was there first) she kept on getting closer to my door as she moved up. Being the fucking pacifist that I am, I stopped and let her stringy old ass go ahead. As I did so, she never looked at me to give a thanking nod or anything; she just kept looking straight ahead as if I wasn’t there.

Only old people driving new luxury cars would be that fucking arrogant.