Jackass Candidates for President? And Why Not?

Press play after the pane loads you Jackass.

I like the whole idea of electing a Jackass President. I even like their viral Internet marketing campaign. What I don't like is all those bitch Jackass rubber neckers causing traffic jams everytime they drive by one of those billboards.

And just what the FUCK is a Ryan Hill anyway ?!?!?!

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Update JULY 28 2008

I've received a few emails asking me to to do the same video with someone named Abbie Wyndham Beaver. Although I think I appreciate the nature of the request, I didn't make the video. If you would watch the video clip to it's conclusion, you will see you can make your own and fool your "friends", just like Abbie Wyndham Beaver.

It's July 1st, New CA Cell Phone & Driving Law Begins

In a couple minutes, one full day of the newly enforced California hands free cell phone useage law will have passed.

Lucky for me, today I spent more time than usual on SoCal's freeway system. Lots of customers to visit, even more errands than usual tasken to task. This means I was able to witness first hand if the new law was having any effect on people's driving and cell phone usage habits.

Initial observations of the new "hands free cell phone" law; I don't see much of a change. People of all types are still holding the cell phone up to their ears and in front of their faces dialing or texting.

But what I did see gave me some hope in the long term.

There were many CA Highway Patrol officers pulling over a lot more drivers than usual. I don't mean one here and another there. I mean in one stretch of Interstate 5 south of downtown LA, I saw 9 CHP cruisers that had pulled over cars. Each officer in this mile of so stretch was either in deep discussion with the driver, or else he/she was in the process of issuing a citation. I saw similar activity on the 101, 210 and 405 freeways as well.

I had my suspicions confirmed a little bit ago when I saw a news story on TV outlining the CHP's activities enforcing the new law today. The on camera talking head spokesman said that citations issues were estimated to be up 300% for a single day average, which the CHP attributes to drivers not obeying the new law.

No duhhhh!

Hit & Run in Hartford CT and the Good Samaritan is No More

Here are prime examples of two very disheartening issues facing the public today. People driving like maniacs without care for public safety, and the public's evolved new attitude in aiding the human condition. One falls heavily on the side of Highway A-hole Superstardom, the other teeters close to the edge.

As a side issue; perhaps the placement of "public safety cameras" are doing real service afterall, and not just infringing on the the non-sequitor's rights. Read on and you be the judge.

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From KABC-TV Los Angeles and AP;In a frightening event caught on video, an elderly Connecticut man was struck by a car and was left lying in the street. What's worse is that vehicles continued to drive past the man, with no one stopping to help.

Surveillance video shows 78-year-old Angel Torres being struck by a car in Hartford. The video shows that no one walking by on the sidewalk, or driving past on the street, tried to help the victim. However, Hartford Police Chief Daryl Roberts appeared at a news conference on Thursday in which they said four people dialed 911 within a minute of the accident.

Police arrived to the scene shortly after the hit-and-run while responding to an unrelated call. The man was taken to Hartford Hospital for treatment.

The video has been enhanced by the Connecticut State Police Forensic Science Laboratory. An older model tan Toyota may have been chased by a blue or black older model Honda. Police say the cars ran a red light and crossed a center line before hitting the man.

Police are asking for the public's help in solving the crime.

Torres remains in critical condition and is paralyzed from the neck down.

The chilling scene - captured on video by a streetlight surveillance camera - has touched off a round of soul-searching in Hartford, with the capital city's biggest newspaper blaring "SO INHUMANE" on the front page and the police chief lamenting: "We no longer have a moral compass."

Pedestrians gawk but appear to do nothing. One driver stops briefly but then pulls back into traffic. A man on a scooter slowly circles the victim before zipping away.
The hit-and-run took place in daylight last Friday at about 5:45 p.m. in a working-class neighborhood close to downtown in this city of 125,000.

In the video, Torres, a retired fork-lift operator, walks in the two-way street just blocks from the state Capitol after buying milk at a grocery. A tan Toyota and a dark Honda that is apparently chasing it veer across the center line, and Torres is struck by the Honda. Both cars then dart down a side street.

Nine cars pass Torres as a few people stare from the sidewalk. Some approach Torres, but most stay put until a police cruiser responding to an unrelated call arrives on the scene after about a minute and a half.

"Like a dog they left him there," said a disgusted Jose Cordero, 37, who was with friends Thursday not far from where Torres was struck.

Robert Luna, who works at a store nearby, said: "Nobody did nothing."

One witness, Bryant Hayre, told the Courant he didn't feel comfortable helping Torres, who he said was bleeding and conscious.

The accident - and bystanders' apparent callousness - dominated morning radio talk shows.

"It was one of the most despicable things I've seen by one human being to another," the Rev. Henry Brown, a community activist, said in an interview. "I don't understand the mind-set anymore. It's kind of mind-boggling. We're supposed to help each other. You see somebody fall, you want to offer a helping hand."

The victim's son, Angel Arce, begged the public for help in finding the driver. "My father is fighting for his life," he said.

The hit-and-run is the second violent crime to shock Hartford this week. On Monday, former Deputy Mayor Nicholas Carbone, 71, was beaten and robbed while walking to breakfast. He remains hospitalized and faces brain surgery.

"There was a time they would have helped that man across the street. Now they mug and assault him," police chief said. "Anything goes."

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Remember, without those cameras the media, and eventually the general public, wouldn't have seen both sides of this injustice unfold.

Topanga Citizens Take on Enforcing Speed Limits Themselves

Topanga Canyon Road, or CA State Highway 27, is a frequently travelled road for commuters and SFV/Malubu residents. For the most part, it's just a two lane road with a couple of passing lanes or turn-outs here and there. Almost half way between Woodland Hills to the North, and the Pacific Ocean to the South lies the ultra-hippie artisian community of Topanga.

Topanga's a very small community nestled in these Santa Monica Mtns of only a couple thousand residents, most scattered across the canyon sides and strung along the highway itself along with the local businesses. There are two traffic control lights on the road within town. One is by the elementry school N or town, the other isadjacent to a very popular Mexican Restaurant near the town center.

Earlier this year, the State of CA re-evaluated the posted speed limits on this highway and made some adjustments. Basically there is now a max 50 mph in the longer stretches of road, with 35 and 25 limits where needed inside the township of Topanga itself.

After the state made the limit changes, it seems there was a group of locals who voiced their opinion that the speed limits were not lowered enough.

A sign posted on the bulletin board of one of Topanga's grocery stores is drawing the attention of the locals. The sign says in big block letters; "FORCE THE TRANSIENTS TO SLOW DOWN!"

The sign goes on to say, in a very wordy delivery, that the State didn't go far enough to slow traffic on Topanga Road (Highway 27) and that the people of Topanga need to take the responsibility on themselves "to FORCE people to drive slower".

That's right, they actually used the phrase "to FORCE people to drive slower".

How do you suppose they propose to force slower traffic? By asking all residents who live in the area to drive 10 mph slower than the posted limits themselves when driving on the open highway, and 5 mph slower in the town center where the speed limit is already 35 mph or less.

Since passing slower is already nearly impossible, the locals feel they can force the public to drive slower by clogging the road themselves when they drive these public roads.

This means even though the legal posted limit may be 50 mph, a local resident is going to force you to dive 40 mph by driving slower themselves ahead of you.

The next time I am travelling on Topanga and I get behind a Toyota Prius with all kinds of left-wing stickers on it touting the words like "COEXIST", "Impeach Bush" and "Slow Down Through Topanga", it better be going close to the speed limit, otherwise the driver himself/herself will be labeled a Highway A-hole... over and over again, through my car window, at the top of my lungs.

Pickup and Toy Hauler Take the "Leap of Faith"

Here's one of those things you always hear about, but very few have actually seen happen.

It was at precisely 2:05 pm today when I saw it. As it unfolded in front of me, I said to myself, no - it couldn't be.

It was a newer tan GMC Yukon. It was tooling down the 405 freeway SB near the Santa Monica Blvd in the number 2 lane, or the lane directly to the right of the fast lane. It was towing a pretty big enclosed motorcycle trailer, or what most people know as a "toy hauler". The truck/trailer combo was traveling pretty much with the flow of traffic. The guy driving the combo wasn't driving fast, weaving in/out of traffic or otherwise being a nuisance. No, this guy's problem was instigated by a slight oversight on his part, even before he pulled out of his driveway that morning.

The 405 freeway is known for it's choppy characteristic when driving on the 50 year old concrete square panels laid end to end to create most of the massive black ribbon that is the 405. The panel cause a constant modulation effect that travels from the road itself, up through a vehicle's tires, suspension and chassis until it reaches the driver's bones, which get rattled to high Heaven. This constant pulsing effect can cause another effect as well.. a much more destructive effect.

As I passed the truck/trailer, I noticed the front of the trailer was bumping up and down much more than the rear of the truck it was supposed to be attached to. Just as I glanced over, I saw the tongue of the trailer pop off it's hitch. It bobbed up and down 2-3 times before it finally hit the road and threw off a shower of sparks. The safety chain was doing it's job, but it didn't keep the trailer to yaw back and forth as the truck driver tried to quickly pull over to the side of the road. As I passed him and continued on, I saw him signalling and merging to the right as fast as possible.

Lesson to the world; It doesn't take a Highway A-hole to forget to tighten down your trailer ball hitch before leaving on a Memorial Day Weekend vacation at Glamis.

Vista Ford in Woodland Hills Doesn't Respect It's Customers' Cars

Let's start from the very beginning, over 11 years ago. Here we go.... (this might take a while).

Flashback to the Spring of 1997. My now ex-wife had her 1995 Toyota Camry into the Vista Auto Body Shop for some bumper repairs. She was rear-ended in a minor highway fender bender on the 101 freeway. The day we were to pick up the Camry from the bumper repairs, we received a call from the body shop manager at Vista advising that our Camry was in a major accident and that the car was now a total loss due to the nature of the accident. What? It was just in for a bumper re-alignment and color skin replacement, a half days work. Why would such little damage now be considered an un-repairable "total loss" ?!?!

Well, it turned out that one of the Vista Auto Body Shop workers decided to take our newly repaired car our for a little joy ride, for cocktails, during his lunch break, 11 miles from the shop, without a driver's license resident documentation or other legal proof of US citizenship. Vista refused to provide any other information, citing "insurance rules", on the name of the person who was driving tour Camry at the time of the accident. They did tell me the employee no longer worked for them 3 days later.

Since the car was totaled, Vista and their insurance company offered us a minimal discount on a then brand new 1998 Ford Taurus. We liked the idea of having a new larger car to replace the Camry, but were not too thrilled of the minimal discount they offered. After 10 days of back and forth haggling, plus our final threat to report Vista and their insurance company to the State of California Bureaus of Auto Repair and Insurance, they finally offered us a decent settlement which in effect gave us full high Blue Book value for the now destroyed Camry, and the new car for $4.25k USD less than their printed invoice. They also paid for our car rental until we had a settlement with them (from their own rental stock of course) Whew! That experience was behind us.

Slide forward to early 2002. I purchased a new 2001 Ford F150 XLT truck from Vista Ford. I got a pretty good deal, but only very marginally so compared to another dealership. They had no idea of my past experience with them 5 years earlier.

Slide forward again to Fall of 2006. I buy for my new wife a new 2007 Lexus IS350 from Vista Lexus (same dealership). I pay cash and opt in for the 7 year bumper to bumper service policy in addition to an additional 7 year bumper to bumper extended warranty.

Our relationship with that dealer had been good to great ever since. But something happened this morning that really has me thinking twice about my relationship with Vista Ford/Lexus.

Flash forward to the present, today about 9:10 am. I was riding my bicycle down Ventura Blvd taking part in my 3 day a week workout regime. I was about 1 1/2 blocks West from the Vista Ford/Lexus dealership itself. I noticed a car engine revving up pretty high, shutting down, and then coasting past me FAST. I turned my head in time to see a white 2007 Ford Mustang speeding to make a left hand turn onto a narrow side street. The Mustang was trying to complete the turn before the on-coming traffic negated the opportunity. The Mustang sped up, and with tires squealing and smoking from the short turn attempt left, the car lost traction and ended up plowing into the building on the far corner of the intersect, narrowly missing the fire hydrant on the corner. The car indeed barely made it by the hydrant which ended up just behind the drivers side door... less than an inch from the Mustang's rear quarter panel.

The damage to the Ford was significant to serious to the right front bumper, fender, hood, front right wheel assembly and hub (seriously bent), light clusters, etc. Pretty much anything that was in the front right corner of the Ford was mangled. After the impact to the building, which itself only suffered some minor chips and cracks, it was a concrete wall with a vertical 4 x 12 deccoratve wood facade, the driver of the Ford just sat in the car and called someone on his cellphone. He never initially got out.

Many people in the surrounding businesses came out and inquired with the driver if he was indeed OK. He kept saying he was, but would still not get out of the car. He made a cellphone call to someone, hung up, and continued to sit in the car, trying to re-start the engine. He said he wasn't trapped and not hurt continually to all who approached and asked. I sat there on my bicycle and continued to watch. I noticed the driver of the wrecked Mustang was avoiding all eye contact to all who were standing around him, at times putting his hand up in front of his face. What the driver didn't immediately see were the 4 to 5 people frantically snapping cellphone and digital camera pictures of him, the car, the building, and all that was interacting among the three. I thought it was strange for him to keep trying to start the car after the accident. He obviously wanted to leave the scene as soon as possible, so I jotted down the 'stang's license plate, car and driver descriptions... just in case.

Two minutes after he placed the cellphone call, and while he was still trying to start the wrecked car, a 2007 silver Ford Focus 4 door pulled up. A man got out of the car wearing a black Vista Ford logo vest. He nervously surveyed the damage, shaking his head vigorously. After a few minutes, the driver of the Mustang finally got out of the car under his own power. Well what do you know, he had a gray work shirt with a Vista Ford logo on the front. The puzzle was starting to solve itself, but I needed to be sure.

I walked the 50 feet to the Mustang, and in an off handed inquiry tone, asked the guy in the black vest if the Mustang driver was test driving the car after some repairs. He quickly responded that the car was indeed being test driven and that he's not sure what happened as the tech attempted to turn left.

I knew what happened. Remember, I actually witnessed the accident, and I pointed out to the guy in the vest (who ended up being Vista Ford's Service Manager so he says) that the skid marks left by the mustang started 150 ft plus from where the impact occurred, and that the car left braking and acceleration marks transferring the tire skidsmarks from the single rear drive side mark (acceleration) to the 4 wheel skid marks (braking) the last 40 feet. As a former sheriff's deputy, I've seen this before... and it usually gets written off as a diver exhibition of speed and unsafe turning movement infractions. But what laws were broken are not important here.

Now I began to wonder. Over a period of ten years now, I have either witnessed or experienced first hand the way Vista Ford/Lexus allows its service techs and body repairmen to treat their customers cars with little or no respect. One has to wonder as to how many other vehicles the Vista Dealership services get treated in the same fashion.

I rode my bike down to the Vista Dealership, which was only 1 1/2 blocks away to the East, and spoke with the Sales Manager (the Service Manager was unavailable, guess why). His name was Charles and he listened to my concerns with great intent and assured me that the treatment of customer vehicles, being serviced or not, it always done with great respect. I told him I had a very hard time believing that - and he agreed with me after I told him my experiences. I thanked Charles for his time and rode the bike back to the scene. I noticed that even though the car was still on the curb and into the side of the building, the police had not shown up... 40 mins after the accident. More guys from Vista Ford had shown up. I watched as one of them seriously banged his right knee on the fire hydrant while trying to move the Mustang from the scene. I wanted to complete my workout so I left continuing West down Ventura Blvd, the direction I traveling before the incident. I rode by en-route back to the office about 35 minutes after that and they were just starting to get the car off the sidewalk.

So somewhere out there is the owner of a 2007 white Mustang (6 cyl) who, by later today, will be told their pride and joy has been in a serious accident... and that it may or may not be repairable. Personally, if the car is totaled, they better get a new car just for Vista's sheer incompetence in handling a customer's property.

I am really thinking twice now about continuing my relationship with what I thought was one of the better car dealerships in the San Fernando Valley. You might consider the same as well if you do after sale/service contract business with them.